News Release
A Young t-shirted bear has stepped forward today claiming to be a long lost cousin to Slacker, the somewhat eccentric, accented English speaking bear of YouTube fame.
Speaking with her lawyer at her side, the young bear known as “Clipper” stated that she has known about her relationship to Slacker for some time now but was afraid to come forward fearing the mob of press hounds. When asked about her anonymity in a normally open and populous community that the bears inhabit, Clipper responded by saying she was separated at birth from her family and was raised by sea otters. This claim appears to be backed up by a higher than normal affinity for the water, particularly sea water and a slight briny scent that can be noticed on her fur.
Clipper insists that she has no desire to lay any claim to what some sources say is Slackers’ considerable fortune and only wishes to reestablish contact with someone she can share a latte and the occasional smelt or dried herring.
Sources close to Slacker say that he is somewhat surprised by the claims made by Clipper but with his usual southern manner is taking it all in stride. Slacker himself could not be reached for comment.
Stay tuned as our affiliate in Hamilton reports from Slackers residence.
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*I did not write this, but I did receive it in my inbox
****Update****
News Release
At a hastily called press conference this morning the mysterious Clipper, as she has become known to the adoring public, revealed that she will journey to Calgary via Toronto this weekend in hopes of setting up a rendezvous with her recently discovered cousin Slacker of YouTube fame. It is rumored that Slacker will be in Calgary sometime during the month of February.
A stunned hush fell over this reporter as Clipper revealed that her christened name is Victoria Clipper and that her brother Otto, of the long distance speed swimming Otters, will accompany her on the trip. Victoria stood somewhat timidly behind her brother, who looked resplendent holding his last endurance race medal. She appeared to rely on him for emotional support.
When asked if she would submit to a DNA test, where did she learn to speak English, and has she been in contact with Slacker, she replied that the “questions are making me feel uncomfortable”.
Thus ended the press conference.
