Three years ago my husband and I went on our first date. But three months before that we went on a NON DATE that started as a jumping off point and reminded each of us that the other existed. I wrote a blog post on a different blog I had at the time and referred to him as Non-Date-Danny. I remember a reader saying “You can’t call him non-date when he’s your husband” even before we were dating. So here’s the actual story of the non-date, 3 months before the date.
So, I have a male friend who I have known for about 12 years. He’s 2 years younger than me and we’d always see each other every year at camp. A bunch of camp friends would hang out every night for a week, laugh and joke and have the best time ever. We never saw each other outside of camp, and never thought of being a couple of any kind.
Recently, I playfully commented on a picture on Facebook of his… and we laughed and chatted for a bit and both thought it would be nice to meet for coffee while he was in town over Christmas. Then he called me “pal,” so I was pretty sure it wasn’t a date, which is fine. It’s actually fine, and not “I’ll-say-it’s-fine-while-secretly-plotting-your-death” kind of fine. I don’t do that kind of fine.
We ended up meeting for breakfast for a non date just after Christmas. I left my wallet UNINTENTIONALLY (srsly) in my gym bag. I got there before him, realized I had ZERO dinero, and texted him to tell him so. He showed up a minute later all “Oh suuuuuure. Breakfast is on me.” So anyway, we had great conversation and laughs for two hours. THREE parties came and went in the booth beside us. I mentioned the last time I saw him was probably at least 5 years earlier and he said that he would think “the conversation would be more difficult than it is.” Knowing he was paying, he could really decide when we left. The bill sat on the table for over an hour while we drank coffee and chatted.
Anyway, we had a wonderful time, hugged goodbye, mentioned meeting up again when he was in town next and went on our way. I bought him a nice journal afterwards that was about the same cost as breakfast was and will mail it to his apartment in Ontario to thank him for paying. So if this was a date, I would be over the moon excited about him. Instead, I know it wasn’t a date, and am now just kinda spending too much time thinking about him.
Happy three years together, Graham!