But wait, I’m not. HOW CAN THAT BE?! And furthermore, I don’t even want to be. WHAAAAAAAT?! Now, first thing’s first, I’m totally stoked for my friends who are pregnant or who have little ones of their own. I want to snuggle their babies and buy them hoards of sleepers and onesies and get excited about coloured skinny jeans for boys and adorbs headbands for girls. But my husband and I? We’re not there yet.
But really. Does any other young married feel like they’re under CLOSE SCRUTINY all the time because everyone is just WAITING for a pregnancy announcement?
I’m sick this morning. Pregnant.
No wine for me thanks. Pregnant.
No coffee for me thanks. Pregnant.
I drank a lot of tea and am in the washroom a lot. Pregnant.
Doctor’s appointment. Pregnant.
Any other unspecified appointment. Pregnant.
Wearing baggy sweaters. Pregnant.
Sick in general. Pregnant.
Hungrier than usual. Pregnant.
Decide to stop dying your hair for a bit. Pregnant.
Don’t order the shark fin at a restaurant. Pregnant.
Buying a house with room for children. Pregnant.
Slight weight gain. Pregnant (by the way you shouldn’t be mentioning this to people anyway)
Making your house kid friendly for your friends’ children. Pregnant.
Offering to babysit. Pregnant.
“I have something to tell you.” Pregnant.
Making big meals. Nesting.
Craving of any kind. Pregnant.
Buying a bigger car. Pregnant.
Wearing sensible shoes. Pregnant.
Hot flash. Pregnant.
Food aversion. Pregnant.
Mood swing. Pregnant.
You get the idea. And you think I’m joking, well a couple of those are joking, but MOST of them (seriously) are serious. I’m also not immune to it – when people refuse wine, have doctor’s appointments or “have something to tell me,” I always think they’re pregnant. I should also say I work for a baby store, where everyone is pregnant all the time and if you’re not then you’re trying to be, but it’s like this everywhere, from the second people get married.
Now I don’t hate everyone who’s like “PREGNANT!” and points their finger at me, and I’m not trying to shame anyone, but it kind of makes me think two things:
1. SHOULD I be pregnant?! Now I know everyone has a very strong stance on “DO NOT HAVE KIDS UNTIL YOU ARE REALLY READY. AND EVEN THEN, WAIT A YEAR.” which is something I’m sure I’ll understand about 6 months into being a parent.
2. When we *are* pregnant, HOW AM I GOING TO SURPRISE THESE PEOPLE?! And really, the only way I could surprise people is if we got pregnant on our honeymoon or if I get pregnant when I’m 40.
And finally, the last thing I’ll say on this topic, is that many many people try a long time to conceive before actually having a successful pregnancy. So when you do the finger point and shout pregnant in someone’s face, I hope you’re sure that they haven’t been trying for a year unsuccessfully
Anyway, is there anyone else out there who experiences a similar thing? Leave me your story in the comments!